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California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Created: September 5, 2006
Latest Update: Setpember 5, 2006
jeannecurran@habermas.org
takata@uwp.edu
There's Something About Having a LoverIt's true. Some of us don't get it right the first time. But a lot of us get it right somewhere along the line. And love is definitely worth it.
Love comes in many forms. Sometimes it comes with sex. Sometimes it comes with children. Sometimes it comes in taking care of others, children, husbands, parents, even strangers, sometimes it comes in being taken care of. That's nice, too.
Love changes and grows over time. We change and grow over time. Sometimes the mix doesn't work. Women, particularly, as developmental psychology has labeled us the "relational ones," tend to blame themselves when things fall apart. First, I don't believe the developmental psychology. They've got a long way to go before I'll buy that research from which Gilligan concluded that we think differently. Look at Allen Cyber's notes onwhat Carole Gilligan describes as the difference: "Gilligan summarizes this by saying that male morality has a 'justice orientation', and that female morality has a 'responsibilty orientation'."
Now what's the difference between "a justice orientation" and "a responsibility orientation?" According to Rawls, justice is fairness, and fairness would demand responsibility to not do an injustice to another, that is, to take responsibility for one's actions. Whether you pin the ears or the tail on the donkey, it looks like the same donkey to me. One way to keep communication clear on issues like this is to define our terms for measurement. Tell me what you think it will look like to me. How will I know it when I see it?
Think I'm being overly picky? I once heard a professional criminologist ask at annual meetings in a session on peace, "But how will I know peace when I see it? It's amazing how we throw social constructs around, and then assume we know what we're all talking about. Time to be a little more careful of our language.
Robert K. Merton said that when the way to achieve the ends or goals was obstructed, the smart will find deviant means around those obstructions. Has anyone considered "relational thinking" as one of those deviant detours?
Discussion Questions
- Why does jeanne think the emphasis on women's relational thinking is exaggerated?
Consider the ways we measure relational versus justice thinking. Poor measurement permits us to equate anything we like. Kind of like talking right past each other.
References:
- Carol Gilligan, In a Different Voice.
- Notes on In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan Notes by Allen Cypher, who has some interesting notes on programming.
- Lawrence Kohlberg, Theories of Moral Development. Notice similarity to Piaget.
