On Sunday, May 21, Elaine Wright wrote:

I just had to tell you about the African Graduation Celebration. It was okay, but I was very disappointed. I feel that things could have been a lot better, because certain rules that were placed in the registration form were not implemented. In the registration form it noted that we could only wear a Kinte scarf, but when I arrived just about everyone had on regular scarves.

The most upsetting thing to me was the programs that were printed. I payed $50 and placed an ad, and when I participated in the ceremony, I discovered that my ad was not in the program. Upon discovering that my ad was not in the program, I overheard other students stating that their ad was not placed, also. The program that was put together was put together poorly, and you could tell that it was done at the last minute. There were a lot of mispelled words, and the program was about 4 to 5 pages. Tonya Crenshaw was very upset also because her name was mispelled and it read Tonya Monique Censhaw. We both feel that the African American student body should have informed the students before the ceremony about the discrepancies in the program. There was enough time before hand to let everyone know that their ad was not placed in the program. It was very unfair, and I will never recommend anyone to participate in the ceremony. PLEASE REPLY!!!!!

On Sunday, May 21, jeanne responded:

Elaine, I'm sorry. I am glad that you wrote. Remember that Hal Pepinsky says that before dialog can begin, we need to let the anger out. I know that you and Tonya were hurt. I'm sure the others were, too. And it is important to be able to express that hurt to someone who knows and cares. (Now aren't you glad I insisted on having faces for all the names. I can see you now, that lovely hair swishing, (you did wear it down, right?), and the hurt that comes nearly to tears, as you realized that it was structural and there was no perpetrator to blame who meant to hurt you and the others.

The context: We have a whole set of new administrators. Procedures are not quite set; new ways are replacing old; and bureaucracies adjust slowly.

I wanted to go to the African Graduation Celebration, but with Albany coming up on Friday, I knew I was just too tired. Now I'm sorry I didn't go. I wish I had been there for you. I know that many of you won't be here next year, but there are probably many caring things that we could do to ease the hurt. Is it possible to re-issue the programs, corrected and done to make all of you happy? Not quite the same thing, but your memories could include what you had wanted. With the time constraints over, I'll bet that could be done.

Also, those who put together the celebration need help. Like us all, they are over-worked and under-loved. Would a group of you be willing to be on a committee to help them plan next year, so this won't happen? I'd love to have you, and I have some experience in setting up such things. Then we could be there when next year's group needs help.

Would you like to pursue some non-violent responses that might give you all happy memories and replace the disappointment?

love and peace, jeanne